Evil Voices Bombarded His Mind
CBN.com -Will Morales spent his teen years and most of his adult life trying to escape the pain he suffered from an abusive father.
He said, “My relationship with my dad, I started to hate my dad. It was a hate and love relationship, for many years.”
Alcohol, drugs, and sex helped him cope, but it was never enough.
“I was running from my issues,” He said. “I got me to a very depressive state of mind. There was no meaning, no purpose. Deep within my soul there was this deep emptiness, this deep hole that couldn’t be filled. The women the drugs the life, it was- nothing could fill that. It was temporary satisfaction.”
As a child, he had often gone to church with his mother. Now that he was an adult, he thought returning might solve his problems.
“And the Lord spoke to me in that sermon so vividly it was like he was talking to me,” he said. I embraced Christ that day. It was the first time I actually made Christ my personal savior. It was a liberating feeling. I felt forgiven. I felt a peace that I’d never felt before. And it was beautiful.”
During that time, he was reunited with his high school sweetheart, Denise. She was also a Christian. They fell in love, and soon, they married and started a family.
“Things started off great,” he said. “And life was good at the beginning. But marriage… I didn’t understand marriage. I was still very immature, and marriage was a lot of work. I felt this great pressure where I just wasn’t the Christian I should have been.”
Little by little, their relationship began to erode.
“We began to part ways as far as emotionally, “ he said. “We wouldn’t read the bible together. We hardly ever prayed together No intimacy. Our intimacy life died and that led me to go on to sites that I didn’t even know existed. Led to cyber chat lines with other females, cybersex that was there, pornography started to take control of my life. It was that lifestyle that I began to live, which is a double life. And after that it took not even a year before I was finding gratification in other things instead of my wife and my family. And I said I need to leave.”
Then he started sleeping with other women. Eventually, Will thought it was time to leave, and deserted his family. He went back to his familiar routing of drugs, alcohol and women.
“I was such a mess with relationships. I had multiple relationship, he said.” I was dealing in the nightclubs and the strip clubs because I was empty, empty, empty. My life had become so unmanageable and I was powerless over my life.”
One day while driving, voices started taunting him.
“Voices began to hover me like bees, he said. “Just saying all kinds of voices from ‘You’re a loser’ to ‘God doesn’t love you.’
As he sat at an intersection, they urged him to run the light and slam into an oncoming car.
“[They said] Come on, just hit the car. You will see this will all disappear,” he said. “And the car got closer and the voices intensified and that’s when I decided to say, and cry out to God and say, ‘If you’re really out there God, are you willing to help me? I need you! Help me! And no longer than I said that, a second didn’t go by, I heard a voice speak to my soul clearly, “You are not a quitter.” Telling me, “I’m here. That’s all I needed you to do is cry for help.”
Will pulled over.
He said, “I began to cry and praise him like I had forgotten to praise him years ago. It’s like the joy of my salvation was coming back. “
Afterward, will wanted to be free once and for all from his addictions. He could only remember one thing that would help- prayer. He asked his family to pray for him.
“As they prayed over me, I began to repent, he said. “It felt like this freedom I had never experienced in my life. I felt like a new me, a revival. I felt liberty in Christ. I felt this weight of letting all my shame out, all my skeletons and my baggage had to come out.”
Through God’s grace and forgiveness, Will says he was able to quit using drugs and alcohol. And after 3 years, Will reunited with his wife and children. He has also reconciled with his father.
“My family, my children saw the power of forgiveness, how God can restore brokenness, Will said. “The worst things we can make, he can patch it back together one day at a time, one stitch at a time it’s like my life was a broken puzzle and everything just fell apart and it was shattered and pieced everywhere. And day by day, day by day, trusting in him, he’s putting the puzzle back together. And it’s just beauty, beauty, beauty, beauty to see how God has restored my marriage and then he has brought my children together and he’s given me things that I never thought I’d have back. More importantly, my joy, my peace, my love for him, my relationship with him is something that I just treasure now. My God is an awesome God. And he’s a redeemer and I can’t ever thank him enough.”