Leading a Double Life Consumed by Vices Wasn't Enough for Him
Randy Lawrence thought he had everyone fooled.
“I could look you right in the eye and just lie stone-faced to you and you’d believe it and you’d think I’m a nice kid,” said Randy.
Growing up, he became an expert at playing both sides of the fence and using each to his advantage. On the one hand, he was a good student and athlete. On the other, he liked to get high and sell drugs. Both gave him what he wanted, but dealing drugs was easier.
“The accolades or the acceptance in the one area would require more work and effort whereas the other one it was immediate.”
Still it was important to him to keep up the front because he needed his parents’ approval… especially after they divorced.
Randy explained, “Not that I was not loved by my mom and dad, but by having that brokenness of home, my mom always working, my dad not there, you know, love is demonstrated often times by presence, and that presence just wasn’t there.”
He kept up the double lifestyle through high school and college, by then the drugs were getting out of control. “Which again, really, it’s crazy because at that point now, I’m really risking all of my life for this channel.”
Out of college, the pattern continued. He got a respectable job as a stockbroker while still selling and using drugs. He started to realize that neither were giving him what he needed.
“The money was never fulfilling. The drugs and doing drugs and partying constantly for days on end once you quit, then it was empty,” said Randy. “The sexual escapades with all of the women and the involvement with that, again provided fulfillment, but at the end it was all empty.”
Randy continued, “And so it was really at that point of saying, ‘There’s got to be something more.’”
At 27, Randy was burning out. One day he picked up a book at his friend’s business. As he started to read he couldn’t put it down. It was a true story about a man whose life was consumed by drugs and heart break - until he found a new life through Jesus Christ.
“I saw in him myself like trapped in this world that I was trapped in. Mine was with the drugs and the dealing and I thought, ‘That’s what I want for my life. I want that kind of success and I want a family and a beautiful wife and those types of things and this has not been working for me.’”
“That was on a Sunday night and I remember on a Wednesday night I came home from work and had a few drinks with people after work and I thought, ‘Nothing has changed. You know, nothing has changed. It’s still the same old garbage that I’m doing.’”
“And I got down on my hands and my knees next to my bed and I said, ‘Lord, if You’re real and this is true, come into my life and come into my heart and show me the direction You want me to go.’”
“And I sat there for probably 20 minutes just crying and sobbing, and I couldn’t really tell you what had happened, but I just knew this burden, this emptiness that I had had just been lifted from me.”
Randy began to read the Bible and believe God had a better path for him. He found a church and in time he completely gave up his life of drugs.
Randy said, “Without a question it was the true love and acceptance that Jesus loved me in spite of all the horrible things I’d done, and that He accepted me just as I was.”
Today he’s married to Sara Jo and they have a daughter. He also runs a successful real estate business but he’ll tell you that these days, success takes on a completely different meaning.
“It’s incredible to see. I mean, had it not been for Jesus I probably would have been dead or in prison. And that’s the truth. And then to be able to look back and see now, to have a beautiful wife and a family and a successful real estate business and to then be able to speak and to encourage and inspire other people and to empower them, it’s just unbelievable to see what God has done.”